Aduhai.. nangis lagi..

I was never good in expressing my feeling. People always misjudge me. Take me as in the wrong way. My words always got twisted. Maybe, because I'm a person of action. To sit and wait while things change accordingly, is really not my thing. Once, a lady friend told me "Never make any move when you're sad. Wait, relax and then strike".

Maybe this is what you called, love sick. Me, true.. I'm here but my heart and soul are back there. With them. Miss my family the most. Especially on this Wednesday morning. Sakit jiwa betul. Sampaikan Ibu dah siap call travel agen suruh cari tiket nak balik Tanah Malaya. The soonest.

Semua ni punca, this morning I was calling my mom. Hence, ada la sikit "you know what". As I said, I was never good with words. My intention was different. I miss her.. a lot. But, benda yang lain pulak keluar. At last.. lain nak cakap, lain yang sampai. Entahlah.. again sakit jiwa betul la. Eiiii.. tak suka la macam ni..

Hence tambah pulak bila dok dengar lagu-lagu jiwang karat ni.. seganas-ganas Ibu, I still layan lagu "sayu-sayu" ni. Tak pasal-pasal dah nangis. Berjurai air mata. And luckily I'm at home.. ALONE. Tak suka kalau anak-anak nampak Ibu nangis. Alahai.. nangis lagi.

Kenapalah air mata ni senang sangat nak keluar??

Tak boleh ke ditahan sikit?? Eiiii.. tak suka la macam ni..

Kenapalah sekarang ni senang sangat nak nangis?? Sikit-sikit nangis.. sikit-sikit nangis. Tension betul la macam ni..

Even tu hari masa kat epot.. once jejak je kaki kat sana.. Ibu terus nangis. Entahlah.. sedih sangat. Even masa duduk-duduk sensorang tu pun nangis jugak.

Even now.. I'm crying.. lagi..

I like the feeling when I can say.. "I'm smiling now".. It was the best moment of my life. Senyum sokmo. Buat apa pun senyum. Marah anak tak buat revision pun.. senyum jugak. 

Then something for a change..

Mungkin jugak faktor umur buat Ibu emo macam ni.. Entah la.. tapi.. tak suka la..

Alahhhh.. asyik nangis je ni...