Talian hayat 101..

Recently, I was really upset. I mean.. really and extremely upset. Annoyed too. Actually no better word can describe it perfectly. Macam-macam yang Ibu rasa masa tu.. Mungkin selama ni tak ada orang having the guts to say to directly to me. Straight to my face..But I'm sure.. kat "belakang tabir" tu biasa kut..

Somebody "outside my family circle" just called me a self-centered, bossy type.. as well as control freak. Tho' that was not the actual word.. still it served the same meaning. I was hurt. I was shock. It was harsh.. just name it. Memang Ibu betul-betul sakit jiwa time tu. Then bila dah macam tu.. mula la nak pi cari "talian hayat" nak meluahkan kesedihan, kehampaan.. and whatever la kan.

Time tu kan.. aduhai.. tak tau nak kata apa dah. Nak nangis.. tapi tak ada air mata yang keluar. Geram.. yes.. Ingatkan all this while everything was "okey" between us. So the perasan one kan kan.. Tapi Omak sey memang selalu jugak tegur. "Long.. ko ni kan.. macam tu tak elok la..". Then dia start la buka kelas ceramah. Yang Omak sey tak tau.. dia pun macam tu jugak.

It runs in the blood.. nak kata apa kan kan..

Dulu masa baru mula kawin, selalu Cik Asben kena "kejutan budaya" bila tengok me and mom ber-konfrontasi. For us.. biasa-biasa je.. Its one way for us expressing our anger, our frustration, our opinion, our feelings.. Cuma bila dah dok jauhhhhh ni, we tend to express whatever la kan dalam cara yang lebih bersopan. Dah tua-tua ni.. akal panjang la sikit. Not to mention.. sabar tu lebih sikit.

Sambil dok mengadu tu, sempat jugak buat sessi kelas masak.. Always make yourself useful.. thats how I take it..

 

Sebenarnya.. rasanya laa.. Ibu tak perasan pun masa Ibu buat semua tu. My intention and conscience was pure and for one reason only. Ibu nak things flow perfectly as plan. Ibu nak things ended "happily ever after". Ibu takmo any ill-feelings. Cuma yang Ibu tak sedar.. I never ask for the other party's feelings or opinion. And that is not a good thing kan kan.

Other people might have their own reasoning.. they might have their own problems, they might have "whatever".

Hurting.. as it maybe.. I appreciate the most sincere opinion. And I owed it to my dearest "lady friend". I shall forever be indebted to you sayangggg. Thank you for being "there" for me. Kalau Jeddah tu senang nak pi.. memang selalu la I port kat umah you.. Weiiiii.. jangan pulak ingat Ibu ni lesbian. I'm as normal as any women can be.

Moral of the story.. jangan ingat kita je yang betul. Sometime, we learn through the hard way. Although it took me ages to realize this. Well.. nak buat macam mana.. anak sulong memang macam ni kut..

P/s;

Are you having the problem as me?? 

Then last night..

Ada masa nanti, Ibu cerita.. ni nak layan anak breakfast dulu..

Until then.. chiaw..